Kayla's life has been altered by concussion. No one can ever know what could have been done to prevent it, or if faster action on the part of her coaches or trainers could have help prevent her chronic symptoms. It's impossible to say. All Kayla can do is move forward as best she can. - 2011
Eleven years ago, I interviewed Kayla Meyer for Mind Matters magazine. In September, I caught up with her over Zoom. I was going to write an article, but decided to share the interview with you instead. It's been edited for clarity and length.
Phil Gonzales
So where are you living now? What are you up to?
Kayla Meyer
I live in Longmont, Colorado, now. It's about 45 minutes north of Denver. And I am a rehabilitation counselor. So I help people with disabilities find employment. I work with people who have intellectual and developmental disabilities, mental health, physical, other cognitive stuff. And, my favorite group to work with is people with TBI. For reasons, as you know.
So, yeah, I love what I do. I would not be in this career, if it wasn't for my own TBI that I've had. But yeah, I've been out here almost three years now. And I love it. I came out here for my internship and fell in love. And then I went back for four months. And then I got hired out here and moved back out. And I was in my office for about five hours and then they said, everybody go home because COVID.
So, we didn't have anybody in the office for probably a good six months. And then they let some people if they wanted to, and I was one of them. I just don't do work from home as well. I just can't stay focused.
Phil Gonzales
Understandable.
Kayla Meyer
But, ya know, I moved right here before the first COVID lockdown and everything. So, I didn't even get to meet all my co-workers.But now everybody's required to have at least one office day and my three year anniversary will be coming up in March. I work for the State of Colorado for the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation.
Phil Gonzales
You had said at the end of your original interview that you wanted to go into some sort of practice where you are helping people with disabilities and brain injury. And, a lot of people say that, especially young people who are looking at their future, but you get to college and a lot of opportunities present themselves. You're set free, relatively speaking. So, how did this work out for you? At what point were you like, 'Okay, this is definitely going to be my focus?'
Kayla Meyer
So the anniversary of my brain injury is 13 years this December. And, I was in middle school when it happened. And I thought about it a lot in middle school and high school that I do want to help people with brain injuries, disabilities, that kind of stuff. And I decided to go to school for, well I changed it a couple of times, but the undergrad that I stuck with was communications. In my freshman year of college at Mankato State University, in 2014, whoever's in charge of the volunteer group at that time reached out to me and said, 'Hey, there is a professor at your campus who teaches a sensitivity to disability course. And she had reached out to me to see if anybody could come and speak to her group.' And I was like, 'I mean, yeah, it's so close and everything.' So I went, and I thought it was cool. They talked about different disabilities and how they affect people in different ways. I ended up eventually taking the class, but I went and spoke and you know, shared my story.
And the professor Merida was like, 'Oh, my gosh, this is awesome.' And I started talking to her. I said, 'Well, how did you end up teaching this class? And what do you do?' And she said, 'Well, I'm a rehabilitation counselor.' And I said, 'What is that?' And she said she helps people with disabilities gain and maintain employment, that kind of stuff. I thought that was really, really cool. And I thought about it for a while. I think I came back the next year and spoke and talked to her about it and said, 'I'm kind of interested in this.' And she said, 'You should talk to the head of our department. He's on campus, his name's Andy. Just email him and set up a time and you guys can just go and sit and talk. And he can answer any questions about what you do in the field, you know, what kind of work you would be doing, who would be hiring you, that kind of stuff.'
And so I went and sat with him. And at that point, it wasn't in love as much with my undergrad as I had been when I started, which was just communication. So a lot of writing and stuff, which I do like to do, but I wanted to kind of make more of an impact, I guess. And so I sat and talked with him and I'm like, 'This is what I want to do. I mean, this is awesome.' And I needed to do a Master's to get the role that I have now. And, luckily, the campus offered a rehabilitation counselor program. So I think I started that in fall 2018. And it was fascinating. There were only about eight of us in the entire program. It was a very, very small group. So we all got to know each other really, really well. And, I actually spoke to my cohort, when we got to the TBI part of one of our classes, and Andy was like you okay with this, and I was like, 'Sure, I'm fine with that. I don't mind answering any questions or sharing my story and stuff.'
And then we had to do an internship. And this is such a specialized field, it wasn't like I could go to Italy or Rome or wherever and do it there. So I said, 'Hey, you know anywhere I can go outside of Minnesota? I mean, I'm kind of open to wherever. I like to be outdoors.' And I had my childhood friend, Taylor, who's actually the one person from my hockey team that I still keep in really close contact with. We've known each other since we were like 12 or 13. She had moved out here about a year before and she has an arthritis joint condition. And she said, 'I feel so much better out here. I'm wondering if maybe the altitude elevation stuff would help with your head.'
And so I mentioned to Andy, and I was like, 'I'd love to go to Colorado.' And he looked at me, and he's like, 'I just had a student who got hired from this program in Colorado.' And he's like, 'Let me ask her if there's by chance, you could intern there.' And so he emailed and I think within a month I had an internship in the Colorado Springs office. It was awesome. I did my internship and fell in love with Colorado and fell in love with what we do and how we do things and the populations we assist and that kind of stuff. And I wasn't able to get hired on right after my internship or in the office I was in because they just didn't have any availabilities. So I came back to Minnesota, because rent out here is not cheap at all, and I applied for stuff in Minnesota and Colorado - those were my two choices - and I think I also applied in Oregon, and Montana, and Idaho. And I got a couple different interviews with different places in Colorado and that kind of stuff and never got hired. I had spoken to the supervisor at my current office when I was doing my internship and she'd said, 'Oh, you'd be great. And we might have an opening coming soon.' And I applied for that and did an interview and I didn't get it. And I was really bummed because it sounded like a great location. And I noticed within a couple of weeks that they had a new position open at the Longmont office. And I was like, 'Well, I'm gonna apply again,' and did a couple interviews. And then I was offered the job. And within two weeks I moved out here. I don't know if that was more information than you wanted!
Phil Gonzales
What's fascinating to me is that, you know, I said up top that my thought was you were either going to be all in on this interview or you were going to say absolutely not. Because we've talked to people whose brain injuries happened in their youth, who were very public about their brain injuries in their youth, who then as they got older, started distancing themselves quite a bit from it. Like, they would stop coming to the Walk. And when we'd ask, they'd be like, 'You know what, I'm putting that behind me. That's part of my life, but I don't want it to define me anymore.' And, you were in the spotlight, like literally in the spotlight, for so much of your teenage years. You were plastered all over the Star Tribune, you had news stories about you. I don't want to say it was a 'media frenzy' but you were kind of the face of youth concussion in Minnesota for a long time. And then with Connections for Concussions it just kept building and building and building. How did you maintain your stamina and not completely burn out from all that?
Kayla Meyer
That was a good question.
Phil Gonzales
That was a long question.
Kayla Meyer
That's to be expected in something like this. I think just the fact that I didn't come to the Brain Injury Alliance to be that media person; I came to just kind of find a community. And then it just kind of fell into place. I remember Michelle, she approached me and was like, 'Will you come and talk at the state capitol?' And I was like, 'Sure.'And I just kind of, you know, I did that. And then I did some other things. And I went to prom with Mark [Rosen], which is still one of the best nights of my life. And I think it was just different and cool. And I've always been that kid who wanted to be in the play and wanted to be in the talent show. So I wasn't afraid of being in that. But I think the fact is, I always said, if I could help anybody, even one kid, one parent with a kid with concussions, or whatever it might be, that it was worth it.
And, just being able to share my story. I just shared with my supervisor, well I might have actually talked about it a little bit in my interview, but I shared more a little bit after I was hired and everything, and I got to know her a bit better. And she was like, 'Oh, can I ask you questions? Do you not want anybody to talk to you about it, or whatever?' And I was like, 'I'm fine with questions. If you have any questions, I'm gonna answer them.' And, you know, I'm not running around saying, 'Hi, I'm Kayla. I have a TBI.' It's just if it comes up. I really think because I wanted to help people, I wanted to assist people and just kind of do that, I think that's kind of what kept me from not being burned out and not being like, 'Oh, I don't want anything to do with this anymore.'
You know, like the Walk for Thoughts. That's the first Minnesota Brain Injury Alliance event I ever attended. We saw it advertised on the news. And it'd been almost a year since my injury. And I was like, you know, let's try and go. And it just felt so welcoming. My parents and I still sometimes talk about it. People would come up to you and ask you stuff just were very welcoming. I mean, people you've never met before, wanting to talk to you and just be welcoming, it was really, really nice. And I think having that first really good positive interaction, because so far by then, you know, I had lost a lot of my friends and was struggling. And it kind of felt like I had a bit of a sense of community. And I still feel that way, even though I live in a different state. Like, if I could go to the Walk for Thought still, I definitely would.
Phil Gonzales
I had been at the Alliance for a few years when I first interviewed you. When you first started really taking off -- and when I say 'taking off' I mean, like impressing the heck out of me -- I was like, here's this kid who is clearly going through it, like you were, and you would talk about how you would go to the Capitol and then you were just done for the next few days. Like you had to rest your brain for a few days. Which is understandable, because I've been to the Capitol, and I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for you, for a myriad of reasons. The responsibility alone was just so much, but you got this crash course in legislative systems, you got this crash course in public speaking, this crash course in advocacy for others and advocacy for yourself. How did those skills help you as you grew older?
Kayla Meyer
I think the advocacy piece really helped me with saying, 'These are my boundaries. These are the things that affect me, and I know when I need to stop, when I need to be done.' And one thing I actually learned from Matt Hovila, who was the person who started Connections for Concussions with me. We don't talk too much anymore but we check in every now and then. He had given me some tips on what to do in college. The first day of every class, at the end of class, I would go up to my professor. And I would say, 'Hey, my name is Kayla Meyer, and I have a disability. You're going to be getting a letter from accessibility resources on campus that I need these accommodations. I just want to put a face to the name so you'd know who I am, instead of just getting this piece of paper. If you ever have any questions, let me know.' And I think a lot of them were surprised that I did that. And when I got more into my major classes that focused more on what I was going to school for I had professors that were like, 'Oh, yeah, we know what you need, just we'll get the letter for accommodations when we get it.' I had to have a note taker and extra test time, that kind of stuff. And I think, sharing my story, telling people helped people relate to what I go through.
It also really helped me with my self advocacy with friends. When I got to know them enough, they would say 'Let's go out,' and I'd be like, 'It's nine and I need 10 to 12 hours of sleep. So sorry. I can't right now.' And finding out who my good friends were by doing that advocacy, saying, 'These are my boundaries, this is what I can do.' Maybe if it's not a school night, you know, it's a weekend, I can stay out a bit later because I don't have to worry about processing my class the next day and listening to a lecture and all that different kinds of stuff. I would say my big thing is my advocacy and just being comfortable and being in situations. Like, we work with youth in the schools and I had to go do a presentation one morning. And we thought it was going to be a classroom or like four special education teachers. It was the whole school! And my coworker was like, 'Oh my gosh, I hate speaking in front of people!' And I was like, 'I'm fine. I have this. So if you need help, just pass the mic. I got you.' So this has really helped me in a bunch of different places. But I think the advocacy piece is probably the biggest place that it assisted me.
Phil Gonzales
For anyone who's not familiar, and because I don't know the whole story, how did the prom thing happen?
Kayla Meyer
Oh my god.
Phil Gonzales
I was very confused about that when it happened.
Kayla Meyer
That was mostly Pat. I will let you know that right now. Okay. So I think it was about two weeks out from prom. And I was just planning to go with my friends and girlfriends; just gonna have fun. I didn't need to go with anybody, didn't have anybody special and I was fine with that. And I think it was a weekend or something. And I had worked a shift that morning at my parents' kennel. And we did split shifts so it's like eight to noon and then like three to six. So I was taking my break with my friend who was also working for my mom and I think the boat was parked in the driveway, and we were both sitting out and enjoying the great day and we just wanted to be outside. And my mom came out and she said, 'There's a phone call for you. You need to take this.' And I was like, 'Okay, sure.' So I grabbed the phone, and I'm like, 'Hello?' And I just hear, 'Hey, Kayla. It's Mark Rosen.' And I was like, 'Oh, gosh,' because I think I'd been on his show. I think it was only maybe once but I'd seen him places.And, he said, 'So I hear you have a big event coming up soon.' And I'm thinking in my head. 'What, what is what?' And I was like, 'Oh, I was like, are you talking about prom?' And he was like, 'Yeah, I want to take you to prom.' And I was like, 'I would love that.'
I mean, I remember when I was on his show, he was so nice. And the couple other interactions I'd had with him he was just so gracious. So, he was like, 'I'm gonna take you to prom. We're gonna get you in a limo. And, do the whole corsage thing and all that prom-like stuff.' And I was like, 'Yeah, awesome. That is great.' And I was super excited. So I give the phone back to my mom, and I run over to my friend. 'Oh, my gosh, you're not gonna believe it.' And she's like, 'what?' And I was like, 'I'm going to prom with Mark Rosen.' And she goes, 'Who's that?' Oh my gosh, all my classmates are going to see me show up with this much older person and wonder who the heck is Kayla here with? But, I didn't care. So we had all my friends come over for the photographer. And I just said, 'There's going to be a limo.' I didn't say Mark Rosen was going to be here with us. And I did find out later that he was supposed to go to the Wild, who had just made it into the playoffs. And he declined going and doing that so he could take me to prom. Which I thought was just another good character trait of his.
And so you know, we do all of our pictures and all that stuff. And we get in the limo and we come to school. And again, I'm kind of worried like, 'Oh my gosh, who is this? And as soon as we came in, and we're getting ready to line up for the prom march, all the sports guys swarmed him and I was like, 'Okay, I'm fine.' It was great. And we did prom march. And then we went and had dinner and did the dancing. He did the cupid shuffle and sat at our table and all the guys were like 'Mark, come dance with us. They wanted to bring him to like the mosh pit. And, he didn't say the whole night, but oh my gosh, it was so much fun. And he told me he never went to prom. So, that was his prom experience. And his daughter helped him pick out the corsage to match my dress. And like I said it literally was one of, is still one of, the best nights of my life. So yeah, it was Pat who put it together and got Mark to agree to it. I don't know how. But she has her ways. But yeah, that's how my prom date was.
Phil Gonzales
So that was 2014. We had interviewed you years before; you had been coming to the walk. That was sort of like the golden years where there were all these people who were kind of in our orbit constantly who were just constantly doing stuff with us. And, Mark Rosen was always doing something and Paul Allen was always doing something. And I guess, you know, people move on and they do other things. And I'm just so happy that your life has gone in a direction where you had kind of called your shot a decade earlier - you were like, I think I want to do this - and then it worked out. I'm just so glad that you're able to help people the way you want to help people.
Kayla Meyer
Yeah, it's been great. You know, I love my job and, honestly, I don't remember saying in that interview that this is kind of sort of what I wanted to do. Because for the longest time I wanted to, you know, own and operate my parents business. And then it just wasn't feasible for me because of my sensitivity to noise and all that different kind of stuff. And it's funny, I always wanted to run the business and my brother thought it was cool, but didn't want to do that. And then we flip flopped. So now he's running the business. He's enjoying it. My parents are pretty much retired. They have to help out every now and then. But yeah, it's been great.
So one of my big things that I always struggled with was migraines and pain. I struggled with that a lot. And I've done so many different things. I've done nerve burns, injections, Botox, all that different stuff. And it probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't, you know, come out here and got my own health insurance through my company. But I now have a medical implant that helps me with my pain. And I've had that since January, end of January this year, and it has changed my life. It is awesome. It's in the back of my neck, and it sits on my occipital nerves and does vibrations. It's kinda like a TENS Unit, if you've ever seen those or heard of those, where it gives kind of electrical stimulation under my skin, and then I have a battery in my back that gets recharged via a thing. And I've got a fancy little remote for it and that kind of stuff. But it has just changed so many different things. And I've been doing a lot better. I haven't been missing as much work, because that was an issue every now and then. And luckily, I have a super supportive supervisor, and coworkers. It helps to work with coworkers who understand disabilities because that's what we all do. So we work with people with disabilities. So I've had some days where I've had to go home and you know, people will drive me and make sure I get home and that kind of stuff and offer to you know, watch my dog if I don't want to worry about getting him up and down my flight of stairs that I have. But it's helped with my pain so, so much. I used to sit around a five or a six on the pain scale, and then it would go up. And I'm usually on a two or three now. Hardly ever hit a two hardly at all.
Phil Gonzales
It's amazing what they can do. When you hear about these technologies you wonder how effective they are. And, wow, there it is.
Kayla Meyer
Yeah. My doctor, when he told it to me, he was like, 'Well, this is very extreme, and you're so young. So let's try some other things first.' And I said, 'Okay, you know, whatever.' And I think within a month, I emailed him, because I had a bad flare up and was just not feeling well. And I said, 'I know. This is like you said, it's extreme, and you think I'm too young, but I need this. I need this.' And you know, I told him, I was coming up on my 12 year anniversary at that time. And he was like, 'Okay, let's do it.' And I was like, 'Oh, I don't have to fight you about that!' Because I've had to fight doctors before in the past. And yeah, he did it. He'd done them before. And it's been fantastic.
Phil Gonzales
I understand that there has to be a reason or a system or something in place. But you would think that like 99 times out of 100 if the stuff they wanted to try first, they could just scratch off the list and just get to the last thing, that usually seems to be where they're going anyway.
Kayla Meyer
Yep. Yeah, that would be great. It would have saved me so much time, and probably my parents some money.
Phil Gonzales
Well, that's amazing. Do you know if your parents are going to be at the Walk for Thought at all?
Kayla Meyer
Probably not. They're pretty much retired and live up at their cabin. So they're not. I'm hoping I'll be there next year. But we'll just have to see.
Phil Gonzales
I will miss your mom cornering me and asking me if I remember her, which I always do.
Kayla Meyer
My mom is a very direct person. I remember the first Walk for Thought we ever went to, she just started asking volunteers, 'Is there any resources for youth with concussion? Any resources?' And they're like, 'No, but we have a speaker's bureau.' 'She wants to do that!' I still remember when my mom got in a fight with my vice principal about my injury, because he wasn't taking it seriously. And my mom would not let him do that and knocked some sense into him. After that argument, things got a little easier with making sure I got the proper accommodations.
Phil Gonzales
Well, I always look forward to seeing her, so maybe next year.
Kayla Meyer
Yeah. We'll just have to see.